Tuesday, May 11, 2010


I am thinking about mistakes I have made, and most of them have been sins of omission. Lack of action that in hindsight discredit me. But I am looking for redemption. Not in the christian sense, because I am not in any way religious, or spiritual in any meaningful sense, but because in the face of the absurdity of the universe we strive in ways big and small to produce meaning. In that sense we are meaning machines.

Meaning, the significance of what we do feel and think gets it's realisation through language and broadly symbols. So one regret I have is that I did not learn French better, when I was younger. I also regret that I didn't learn Mohawk, which was offered at my high school. As a would-be scholar, Latin's significance for understanding European thought can not be overstated. I should have learned those languages when I was younger.

After running and biking so much over the last 15 years, I think I should have been more involved in sport, although I was pretty active, anyway. The discipline of actively pursuing a sport would have done me good. Although I had a some good teachers, high school didn't benefit me- and it is easy to go back to school, here, so I should have dropped out and returned as a mature student.

I wish I had learned to play piano when I was young.

My point is to reflect on meaning as I create it now, and so choose how to correct my lapses. My french is getting better, I have a piano and skim through Wheeler's Latin primer.

"If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country."
-E.M. Forster