American People Hire High-Powered Lobbyist To Push Interests In Congress

My favourite passage from the article:

"[Elected] Lawmakers are going to ask me, 'Why should I care about the American people? What's in it for me?' And it will be up to me and my team to find some reason why they should consider putting poverty and medical care for children on the legislative docket."
 -From The Onion

And Canada, too, I guess.